Why LoK Characters Shouldn't Use AOL Chat
by Razzy's Girl
Summary: Until I get my other fics finished, this will be my first one. Enjoy! Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain belongs to Crystal Dynamics/Eidos/Square Enix. I own nothing except for the plot and stuff.


Usernames:

Kain - **ScionofBalanc3**

Raziel - **SpectralWraith_32**

Janos - **10thGuardian42**

Elder God - **MrSquiddy0**

Moebius - **TimeStreamer34**

Sarafan Raziel - **iHateVampires**

Zephon - **SpiderLord69**

Melchiah - **BloodyBits_**

Dumah - **URallPatheticallyWeak**

Turel - **TKMast3r**

Rahab - **SomethingsFishy05**

* * *

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has entered the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** Anyone here?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Hello?

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has entered the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** Greetings, mortal fools. I am the Lord of Nosgoth!

**SpectralWraith_32:** -.- ...great. You're here.

**ScionofBalanc3:** Yes, I am. It's great to be here with you too. -.-

**SpectralWraith_32:** Alone with you in a chatroom? Someone please kill me now...

**ScionofBalanc3:** You know, sooner or later you're going to have to forgive me.

**SpectralWraith_32**: That will be when hell freezes over, Kain.

**ScionofBalanc3:** Really now? Hm... I'll brb.

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has left the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** Wait! Oh great, what is he planning now? Unless...no. That's not possible.

_**BloodyBits_**__ has entered the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** Ugh. What do you want Melchiah?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Melchiah?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Idiot, hit the enter button.

**BloodyBits_:** Oh! Thats how I send my messages! Sorry Raziel. It appears I am going blind.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Or going stupid...

**BloodyBits_:** :)

**SpectralWraith_32:** -facepalm- Wrong emoticon Melchiah...

**BloodyBits_:** Oh right! I meant :(

_**iHateVampires**__ has entered the chatroom_

_**10thGuardian42**__ has entered the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** You...

**iHateVampires:** YOU.

**SpectralWraith_32:** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!

**iHateVampires:** I should ask you the same thing, ghoul!

**10thGuardian42:** Now now. Let's not fight. o.o

**BloodyBits_:** I'm leaving before this gets ugly.

_**BloodyBits_**__ has left the chatroom_

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has entered the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** I have sucessfully frozen hell over! So now you have to forgive me. :D

**SpectralWraith_32:** You did what?! Impossible! Hell is a firey pit of doom...and lava. .

**ScionofBalanc3:** How do you know? For all we know, it could be a happy place filled with candy and kittens and rainbows with dancing flowers.

**10thGuardian42:** I love all those things! :D I wanna go to hell!

**ScionofBalanc3:** Lol. XD

**SpectralWraith_32:** No Janos, you don't. -.-

**ScionofBalanc3:** By the way, I was just joking about freezing hell over. That's where the giant squid lives! .

_**MrSquiddy0**__ has entered the chatroom_

**MrSquiddy0:** I am not a squid! :(

**SpectralWraith_32;** How did you know he said that when we're on a chatroom?

**MrSquiddy0:** Because... I AM HERE AND EVERYWHERE! NOW AND ALWAYS! I EXIST IN PLACES YOU CANNOT FIND! EVEN THE INTERNET! :D

**SpectralWraith_32:** Stop with the caps lock already! .

**10thGuardian42:** So...you can see us when we use the toilet? Or take a shower?

**SpectralWraith_32:** On that thought, I'm gunna go throw up non-existent chunks of vomit now...

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has left the chatroom_

**MrSquiddy0:** I have errands to run, I will return later to annoy you all with my constant ramblings about wheels and unlife.

**ScionofBalanc3:** Please don't...

**10thGuardian42:** Ditto.

_**MrSquiddy0**__ has left the chatroom_

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has entered the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** Now that he's gone and I'm done being sick, time to get back to what I was saying... iHateVampires!

**iHateVampires:** What do you want you filthy creature?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Do us all a favor and fall on my Reaver.

**iHateVampires:** No, I don't think I will. In fact, I think I'll pay Janos a visit. :)

**10thGuardian42:** Nuuu. o.o

_**10Guardian42**__ has left the chatroom_

_**iHateVampires**__ has left the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** Damn it! I'm so annoying! -_-

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has left the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** ...Am I really here by myself now?

**ScionofBalanc3:** Hello?

_**SomethingsFishy05**__ has entered the chatroom_

_**SpiderLord69**__ has entered the chatroom_

_**URallPatheticallyWeak**__ has entered the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** Nice of you to join Zephon, Rahab... Dumah, mind explaining your username? -.-

**URallPatheticallyWeak:** I am physcially stronger than all of you!

**ScionofBalanc3:** Dumah, where are you?

**URallPatheticallyWeak:** On the laptop in my throne room, why?

**ScionofBalanc3:** Interesting.

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has left the chatroom_

**SpiderLord69:** You just pissed him off dude.

**URallPatheticallyWeak:** Wait what?! OMG!

_**URallPatheticallyWeak**__ has left the chatroom_

**SomethingsFishy05:** Lmao, idiot.

**SpiderLord69:** Yep. XD

**SomesthingsFishy05:** Hey, wheres Turel?

**SpiderLord69:** He's helping Melchiah fix his computer. I guess Melly got scared and smashed his laptop screen when an advertisment popped up saying he won something. Now he's going on and on about conspiresies, saying the internet sent out agents to spy on him.

**SomethingsFishy05:** Oh... moron.

**SpiderLord69:** Hey! D:

**SomethingsFishy05:** I meant Melchiah! -.-

**SpiderLord69:** Oh, lol. Sorry.

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has entered the chatroom_

**SpectralWraith_32:** hglerhg49065243bjkdlf';l;.

**SpiderLord69:** Wtf Raziel?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Sorry. I had to drag Janos back with me because him and my jerky Sarafan self got into another fight and my wing hit the keyboard. Anyway, Janos lost and now I'm the one who has to watch him. He's pretty helpless by himself. -.-

**SpiderLord69:** I see...is he okay?

**SpectralWraith_32:** If you can look past the bruises, cuts, missing feathers and a black eye then yeah...he's fine.

**SomesthingsFishy05:** Damn. He got the shit beat out of him.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Don't remind me. Hey Zephon, still have that copy of Akuji the Heartless? I want to play it.

**SpiderLord69:** Yeah I have it.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Bring it to me, I'm at Janos' home.

**SpiderLord69:** Get it yourself. You have two blue legs that still work. I:

**SpectralWraith_32:** Oh you're a jackass.

_**10thGuardian42**__ has entered the chatroom_

**Spectralwraith_32:** How are you online when I'm using your computer?

**10thGuardian42:** iPhone.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Since when did you get an iPhone?

**10thGuardian42:** Oh it's not mine. it's Sarafan Raziel's.

**SomethingsFishy05:** You stole it? XD

**10thGuardian42:** Sure did. That jerk might have won the fight, but I got his white iPhone 5. XD

**SpiderLord69:** Nice work Audron! :D

**SomethingsFishy05:** I second that!

**SpectralWraith_32:** A white iPhone? Can my human self get any more gay? .

**SomethingsFishy05:** Doesn't that make you gay too? Since you're the same person?

**SpectralWraith_32:** No! My iPhone 5 is black! And it gets a great signal in the Spectral Realm.

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has entered the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** Dumah has two broken legs and one broken arm.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Uh...why?

**SomethingsFishy05:** Lol!

**SpiderLord69:** Lmfao!

**SpectralWraith_32:** Am I missing something?

**ScionofBalanc3:** He thought he could question my strength, and I showed him he never should.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Typical of you to resort to violence to get a point accross.

**SpiderLord69:** Don't you do the same thing Raziel?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Shut up before I rip your soul from your body a second time! _

**ScionofBalanc3:** o.o

**SomethingsFishy05:** O.O

_**TKMast3r**__ has entered the chatroom_

**TKMast3r:** Oh, YOU'RE here.

**SpectralWraith_32:** The feelings mutual Turel.

_**TimeStreamer34**__ has entered the chatroom_

_**iHateVampires**__ has entered the chatroom_

**iHateVampires:** I know one of you bastards has my phone!

**SpectralWraith_32:** Oh look, he brought Moebius along with him. We're shaking in our metal boots. XD

**10thGuardian42:** I have no idea what you're talking about, Human Raziel. .

**iHateVampires:** I know it was you!

**10thGuardian42:** What proof do you have?

**TKMast3r:** Did I just come online at the wrong time?

**SpiderLord69:** It's a long story, Turel.

**TKMast3r:** Oh...okay. Well, I'm gunna go check on Melly. Make sure he didn't get anymore crazy or hurt himself.

_**TKMast3r**__ has left the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** He has a stupid username...

**SpectralWraith_32:** For once, I agree with you Kain.

**TimeStreamer34:** Let's get back to the matter at hand. Where is Sarafan Raziel's phone?

**SpectralWraith_32:** Go fall into the abyss.

**TimeStreamer34:** Go die in a swirly lake of doom.

**SpectralWraith_32:** Been there, done that Moe-butt.

**iHateVampires:** WHERE IS MY PHONE!

**10thGuardian42:** Check your pockets.

**iHateVampires:** I wouldn't be here harassing you all if I didn't check them already!

**ScionofBalanc3:** Oh Janos! I wanted to tell you, nice job with stealing that knave's phone. He's such a dumbass! XD

**10thGuardian42:** Kain! You-know-who is here!

**iHateVampires:** WHAT!

**SpectralWraith_32:** KAIN! YOU MORON!

**ScionofBalanc3:** Oops. I am so bad. ;D

**iHateVampires:** I'm coming for you Audron! You here me! I will kill you!

**SpectralWraith_32:** Nope. I'll be the one killing you first.

**iHateVampires:** I'd like to see me try! I mean, wait...

_**SpectralWraith_32**__ has left the chatroom_

_**iHateVampires**__ has left the chatroom_

**ScionofBalanc3:** Ooooh there's gunna be a blood bath. Time to get some popcorn and head to Audrons! :D

_**ScionofBalanc3**__ has left the chatroom_

**10thGuardian42:** Well, time to go kick Moe-butt in the nuts repeatedly.

**TimeStreamer34:** I have my staff, you can't touch me.

**10thGuardian42:** Look beside you.

**TimeStreamer34:** WHERE IS IT! I just had it! You!

**10thGuardian42:** Nope, Raziel actually. :D

_**10thGuardian42**__ has left the chatroom_

**TimeStreamer34:** Shit! I'm dead .-.

_**TimeStreamer34**__ has left the chatroom_

**SpiderLord69:** ...

**SomethingsFishy05:** ...

**SpiderLord69:** Wanna go to Disney World?

**SomethingsFishy05:** Sure! :D

_**SpiderLord69**__ has left the chatroom_

_**SomethingsFishy05**__ has left the chatroom_

_**MrSquiddy0**__ has entered the chatroom_

**MrSquiddy0:** Hello?

...

**MrSuqiddy0:** Oh you guys are jerks. :/

_**Bound2thePillars37**__ has entered the chatroom_

**Bound2thePillars37:** Tell me about it.

**MrSquiddy0:** O.O ...

* * *

Surprise guest! Bound2thePillars37 is Ariel. XD So what did you all think? Funny? Stupid? :O Please review!

**Note: I do not mean to insult people who have white iPhones, it's just a little joke. SO LAUGH. Lol.**


End file.
